Faith

I was fourteen years old, seeking the answers to Life. Does God exist? Why are we here? Where does one go after they die? Will I win the city championship in softball this year?

Then I met Stanley, ‘Stan the Man’ we used to call him. I used to hang out at the local park; he would show up sporadically, sit on the park bench and make small talk with the regulars. I found myself alone with him one day. He spontaneously began talking to me about the purpose of Life. There happened to be a young man walking across the field, limping and in obvious discomfort. “What you see is not real”, Stan said to me. “His true self is within. We are all a part of God, we are all perfect, what you see is not the true essence of that person.”  Then he continued, “We are all the ‘I AM’. Whatever you say after ‘I AM”, you are.

Um, I was only fourteen years old and I had asked God for some proof that He/She/ It existed, but I certainly was not prepared for this, especially from ‘Stan the Man’. But being me, I decided to push the envelope. “So Stanley, how does one attain enlightenment in this lifetime. I mean what do we have to do to find Truth and God?”

Stanley decided to tell me a story. “One day, a young man who was searching for the answers to life was told of a master who lived high in the mountains. He was told that this master could help him find the answers to these complex questions. The man trekked for days up a steep and treacherous mountain. Finally, after reaching him, the man said, “I hear you know the way to find the answers to Life’s questions, would you please tell me the secret?”

Without saying a word, the master began to descend down the mountain. He reached the edge of a lake and told the man to kneel beside the water. The master then took a hold of the back of the man’s neck and held his head under water. He continued to hold him down and the man began to struggle. The master held stronger as the man was beginning to fight him, the master held even more firmly. Suddenly, and with great determination, the man broke free of the grasp of the master. With deep gasps of air the man said, “What were you thinking? You could have killed me!”

The master asked, “What did you want most of all when your head was under the water”?  The man was still gasping. “Air, of course”!   Well, that is how much you have to want THIS”.   Thus was my introduction to seeking. That desire has never left me.

Many years later I found myself in the Philippines (I believe it was 1986.) I had been traveling with my sister and then brother-in-law for a couple of months. Our visas were about to expire and we were headed back to Hong Kong. For some reason, I did not want to leave. I honestly didn’t know why. My sister said I was crazy. I went to the embassy to extend my visa and to change my airplane ticket. I had no explanation for this feeling, only that I felt compelled to stay. I had no idea what was to unfold.

I had been staying with a family and had met a friend who invited me to a party. It was a Saturday night. I was being offered goat brains, from the actual skull, and I apologetically declined. Then the news came over the radio. Two military Generals defected from the army. A military coup was beginning! President Ferdinand Marcos, who had sustained his reign of terror for twenty years, was being ousted by his most loyal subordinates. Apparently, the military, along with the people, were fed up.

The situation was that the Generals were asking the people to go out to the streets and surround the military complex in order to protect them while they called for more troops to defect to their side. The hope was that Marcos would not be crazy enough to fire upon his own people, or, if ordered, the troops would not execute his orders. Francisco, my new Pilipino friend, and I decided to meet up the next morning at his grandmother’s house and go out with the other tens of thousands of people to support the cause.

‘What am I doing here?’ I thought. ‘I’m not even Philippino!’ I called my family in the States and told them that whatever happened, I loved them and not to worry. I spent the next two days sleeping in the streets, ‘protecting the military’, and just wondering what the heck I was doing there!

Then it happened. On the third day, as tensions heightened, as the United States was beginning to intervene and offer a way for Marcos to exit the country, the stakes rose. Five helicopters, in perfect formation, began flying very low over us. Were they going to shoot? Was this it? Did I stay here to give my life to the Philippine people? There was literally no escape. Twenty-foot walls of the military camp surrounded us and hundreds of thousands of people crowded the street. I looked around for an escape route, there was absolutely no way out, no place to run. “It’s over”, I mumbled to myself.

Spontaneously, as if scripted, everyone began to pray. Some knelt, some held hands in a circle and sang uplifting songs of hope and prayer for God’s protection. I was watching and expecting many people to scatter and flee like roaches when one turns on a light; but they stayed. And they prayed. Are they serious? Do they really believe their God is going to deliver, right now? The conviction of their faith was palpable.

I was the only white person within view and I stood there dumbfounded. The helicopters were coming closer, louder. I could feel the vibrations of the powerful engines reverberating off the walls. I felt my life could actually end at any moment. I don’t know why, but as I stood there, looking into the faces of these beautiful people, surrendering to the possibility of death, I decided to pray.

I said, “God, I know I haven’t prayed for twenty years or more, and I am so sorry. But if my prayer will help add even one drop to the bucket of prayers right now, please accept it with the deepest sincerity in my heart for the safety and peace of these people”. 

I don’t know how to adequately express what happened next. In an instant, before I could even finish the word ‘people’, an INCREDIBLE PEACE ENVELOPED ME. As I stood there, looking over a sea of people, I felt the Hand of GOD holding me, embracing me with such Love and Sweet Assurance that all would be fine. I was enclosed in a cocoon of silence, even though the helicopters were right above us. I was in a state of Bliss. As I looked around me, I saw the face of God in every person. I felt a Oneness with the Universe. I stood there, as tears rolled down my face, immersed in Truth and the Purest Love I have ever experienced. GOD, The Intelligent Force, The Divine Being, The Source of All Things; DID EXIST!

The helicopters dispersed and flew out of formation. Apparently they chose not to follow the orders of one man, but to listen to the Higher Power within themselves. In unison, everyone stood up and a huge roar of relief and gratitude rose to the heavens. I believe the pilots of the helicopters, who decided not to shoot their own people, could hear the cheers. My personal silence was gone now but the cries of joy were music to my ears.

Ever since that day, I am aware of the presence of God in everything and everyone, every moment. At fourteen years of age, I had asked for proof of God’s existence. It may have taken many years to get the answer, but it was given to me in such a manner that it has left no room for doubt. Faith turned to Knowing, and I am eternally grateful.

Live Purposely,

Lucy